


don't wait, or say a single vow

by joekavaliers



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 10:03:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11803776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joekavaliers/pseuds/joekavaliers
Summary: Amy Santiago had always planned her life down to the very minute. However, she never planned on her boyfriend, Teddy, proposing. She didn't plan on meeting a stranger who convinced her to accept proposal, and she definitely didn't plan on accidentally having that same stranger help her run away from her wedding, either.





	don't wait, or say a single vow

**Author's Note:**

> \+ in this fic, basically everything is the same except amy has never worked at the nine-nine, and she never broke up with teddy.
> 
> \+ fic title comes from "speak now" by taylor swift.
> 
> \+ so this?? fic kind of just happened?? i was watching an episode of how i met your mother then i got the idea for a completely different fic, but then that completely different fic turned into this fic?? i just couldn't get the idea out of my head and i basically /had/ to write it. thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy this!!

As Amy watched the smoke leave her mouth and disappear into the cold night, all she could think about was the ring. It was simple, the kind of ring that she would have picked out for herself. A simple gold band and a large princess cut diamond in the center, with two almost miniscule diamonds on it side.

She’d found the ring while putting away Teddy’s laundry one night. The box had been stuffed in a poorly hidden sock, and Amy hadn’t been able to contain her curiosity. She pulled out the velvet box and stared at the ring, wondering when Teddy would propose and what it would mean for her.

Kylie had screamed when Amy told her about it.

But Amy didn’t know how she felt.

She had buried the ring back in the sock and stuffed the sock at the drawer. She buried the idea of the ring in the back of her mind, telling herself that they didn’t have fancy dinner plans until the next month, and that Teddy would never do any sort of extravagant surprise proposal at work or at home, and that she’d have time.

Time went by too fast. The dinner plans came, and as she and Teddy made small talk at the table, Amy noticed that Teddy had one hand tightly gripping a fork and the other glued to his pocket. With her voice shaking, she told Teddy that she needed to go to the bathroom. Instead, she went out the restaurant’s back door and stood in the alley next to the restaurant, stress smoking and trying to decide if she was really going to marry Teddy.

Out of the corner of her eye, Amy saw a male figure walking towards her. She threw her cigarette on the ground and. smashed it with her heel. One hand reached reached for the travel size can of pepper spray she always kept in her jacket pocket, and the other curled itself into a fist.

“Whoa, no need to get all violent,” the man said.

“I’m sorry,” Amy said. “It was a force of habit.” She relaxed her body and let go of the can of pepper spray.

“Yeah, men are garbage and the world is terrible,” the man said. Amy could detect no irony or artifice in his voice, simply humor. He wasn’t a dudebro making fun of her defensive stance. He was just being nice.

“I totally agree with you there,” Amy said.

“Then what are you doing out here, all alone, in the dark?” the man asked. “I could just be pretending to be nice. I could be a serial killer. I could be the Oolong Slayer.”

“Technically, the Oolong slayer kills people in their own homes.” Amy said proudly. “I don’t think he does alleyways. Besides, he was caught last month by Captain Raymond Holt.”

“I’m impressed, though you forgot to mention that he was assisted by the world’s greatest detective slash genius, Jake Peralta.” the man said. He pointed at himself when he said Jake Peralta.

“You’re a detective? So am I.” Amy held out her hand for Jake to shake. “Amy Santiago, six-two.”

“Noice. Jake Peralta, nine-nine.” Jake shook Amy’s hand. “So what’s a detective smoking in an alley for anyways?”

“My boyfriend is going to propose,” Amy said. She leaned her back against the wall. “He’s perfect, but I’m not sure if I’m ready.”

“Then don’t say yes.”

“But he’s perfect. He’s kind, and he’s sweet, and we’ve already planned out our lives together. We basically like everything the other likes. The only thing I don’t like is that he talks about pilsners too much.”

“If he’s so great, then marry him.”

“What would you do?” Amy asked.

“I don’t know anything about you, or your boyfriend, but I know that I’m getting super sick of getting stood up for dates and having to call my date, like a loser. If your boyfriend is as perfect as he seems, then I’d marry him.”

Amy sighed. “You’re right. Teddy’s great, and I love him. I’m being crazy.”

“Wait, his name is Teddy? Are we sure that he’s just not a stuffed bear you’re pretending is a real boyfriend?”

“Are you always like this?”

“Always like what?”

“Serious one moment, then weird the next?”

“That’s the Peralta way.” Amy laughed.

“Well thanks, Peralta. Thanks for telling me what I needed to hear.”

“Are you going to marry him?”

Amy nodded. “I think so.” She turned and started walking towards the back door of the restaurant. As she walked away, she heard Jake Peralta yelling encouragements at her back.

“Have fun! Remember to wear a condom! I heard engagement sex is great!”

* * *

 

Amy didn't see Jake again until months later, at her rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. The small party for family and friends was held in the restaurant of the hotel where Amy and Teddy had booked their reception.

The evening began at 6:00. Dinner wouldn’t be served until 7:00. Until then, Teddy walked around the room, charming Amy’s brothers. Teddy was an only child, and Amy had already met his parents. In contrast, Amy came from a big family. Teddy had already met Amy’s parents and two of her brothers, but the other five still had to be won over.

As Teddy walked around, Amy sat in between her mom and Teddy’s, downing champagne as she tried to politely answer questions on when she and Teddy would be having kids.

It wasn’t like Amy didn’t want kids. She loved kids. But her life plan hadn’t included children for another few years. She knew that Teddy wanted kids, but she’d never imagined what having kids with him would be like. She’d never felt the need to. But she wasn’t about to say that to Charlotte Wells, Teddy’s mother.

Her saving grace was her waiter. His name tag was inscribed with “Paul”, he had an extremely thick, almost fake-looking mustache, and every few minutes, he walked by Amy’s seat and replaced her emptied glass of champagne with another one.

“...as I was saying. If you and Teddy want to conceive a girl, you absolutely have to keep real good track of your ovulation schedule,” Charlotte Wells said.

“Don’t worry, my Amy is amazing with schedules,” Amy’s mother, Teresa said.

“Amy, dear,” Charlotte began. She grabbed Amy’s forearm. Amy prayed that she wasn’t about to give her some sort of advice for which sex position was best for conceiving a boy. “Regardless of what gender your children are, I know that you and Teddy are going to have the most amazing children.”

“Really?” Amy asked. She raised an eyebrow.

“Of course! You two are perfect together!” Charlotte exclaimed. Amy cringed. “You two are so well-matched, so intelligent, and so organized. I’m pretty sure your child will come out of the womb with its taxes done!” Charlotte and Teresa laughed boisterously at the thought. Amy’s laughs were hollow in comparison.

“The kid will grow up drinking pilsners, if Teddy has anything to do with it,” Teresa said.

“That’s the best part, with Teddy’s new pilsner business, there will be extra income for a baby.” Charlotte stated.

“P-Pilsner business?” Amy asked.

“Oh, I was supposed to keep that a secret. Oh well, the cat’s already out of the bag, so telling you all about it won’t hurt,” Charlotte began. “Teddy told me that he struck a deal with a local bar to sell his homemade pilsners. Can you believe that? My son. A detective _and_ an entrepreneur.”

“That’s… amazing.” Amy said. There were two roads forming in her head. One, Teddy’s pilsner project becomes wildly successful. He’s out of the house more often, making more deals. When he comes home, he’s so tired of talking about pilsners that Amy will never have to hear about them again. Amazing. Two, Teddy’s pilsner project becomes somewhat successful, and he will not stop talking about it. Amy comes homes to pilsners, pilsners, and more pilsners. There’s more money for kids, a bigger apartment maybe? Amazing, amazing, amazing.

Not amazing at all.

Across the room, Amy saw Paul the waiter serving a margarita to one of her brothers. As he turned around, she locked eyes with him. She hoped that somehow, he could read her needs and bring her a whole bottle of champagne.

Charlotte and Teresa continued talking about Amy and Teddy’s hypothetical children as Amy prayed.

Ten minutes later, Paul came over to Amy’s table. He held a tray carrying three glasses of champagne. As he placed one glass down on the table, the tray on his hand slipped. The two remaining glasses fell onto Amy’s lap, and then rolled to the floor.

“I am so sorry, ma’am!” Paul exclaimed. Amy stood up. Teresa and Charlotte both grabbed napkins and started dabbing at Amy’s dress. Amy shooed their hands away.

“It’s fine, I can handle this,” Amy said. She walked towards the restaurant’s bathroom as Paul began cleaning up the mess.

The bathroom was empty. Inside, Amy stood in front of the mirror, trying to make the stain disappear with cheap paper towels and the electric dryer. The stain on her dress was beginning to fade when Paul walked in.

“Just wanted to come in here and apologize and see how you were doing.” Paul said. “Is it empty in here?”

“Yeah, but get out! This is the ladies’ room!” Amy shouted.

“Okay, okay, sorry! I just wanted to make sure you were okay, considering this was kinda my fault and all.”

“You spilled champagne on me. Of course it was your fault.”

“No, I meant the engagement party. I made this thing happen. Remember me? Jake Peralta? Guy who told you to marry the perfect guy?” Paul asked. Suddenly, everything made sense. That explained the fake looking mustache and how “Paul” had been oddly attentive of her.

“Why are you here?”

“To apologize.”

“No, I mean. Why are you serving at my rehearsal dinner?” Amy raised an eyebrow.

“I’m undercover, duh.” Jake answered.

“Why?” Amy asked. Jake turned around and locked the bathroom door behind him as a precaution.

“Can I trust you?”

“Of course. I’m a detective.”

“There’s been some chatter from my CIs that this hotel’s owner and this restaurant’s manager have ties to the Petrov crime family. I’m undercover as Paul Stanton from Portland, Oregon, a struggling actor who is only waiting to pay for my career… and my cocaine addiction.”

“I’d lose the mustache, if I were you. No self-respecting actor would have something like that.”

“Noted.”

“Thank you for getting me drunk and saving me from Teddy’s mom, by the way.” Amy gave up on trying to fix her dress. Instead, she sat down on the cold linoleum floor and leaned against a wall. Jake sat down in front of her.

“No problemo. That’s what I do.”

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to your undercover thing?”

“Nah, I just got fired. Guess management doesn’t like this when you spill champagne on people.”

“I’m sorry I had to ruin it for you.”

“It doesn’t really matter. I mean, my captain’s gonna be super pissed that I purposefully blew my cover and almost ruined the case, but he’ll get that I was helping a friend. Besides, I’ve already got enough evidence to put the manager away.”

“How long have you been undercover?”

“Two days.”

Amy laughed. “Criminals are so stupid.”

“I know, right?”

“One time, I blew my cover by asking ‘ _May I have some cocaine?_ ’. Why do criminals have such terrible grammar?”

“Terrible grammar? Do you complain like that to the detectives at your precinct, or is it just me?”

“Shut up.” Amy rolled her eyes, but a part of her wasn’t annoyed, but instead intrigued.

“Is your fiancé as big of a grammar nerd as you are? I bet you two are like two quotation marks, or something.”

“My fiancé.”

“Yeah, the one who is working the party right now when you’re in here with me. The one that I set you up with.” Jake was beaming proudly.

“I… I don’t think I can marry him.” Amy said. She’d never said that out loud before. She’d never told anyone, not even Kylie or her mom. But Jake was a near-stranger. He was easy. Amy’s heavy heart had turned into a light feather.

“Come on Ames. Is it okay if I call you Ames?” _Ames._ Amy smiled at her new nickname. “You can’t just cancel a wedding just because his mom is kinda annoying.”

“It’s not his mom,” Amy said. “His mom’s nice. Teddy’s nice too. He’s perfect, even. He has a perfect credit score, and he’s a great detective.”

“Then why can’t you marry him?”

“Because I’m not in love with him!” Amy exclaimed. “I love him, but I’m not _in love_ with him. He’s boring. I don’t like talking to him.”

“Well, you should probably do something about that, since your wedding’s tomorrow, and I’m pretty sure your cousin Sara is gonna need to pee pretty soon. I brought her a lot of mimosas tonight.”

“The ceremony isn’t until tomorrow morning. I can probably type up a well-written goodbye letter for Teddy if I stay up tonight.” If she and Teddy weren’t to be getting married the next day, Amy would have broken up with him in person, as soon as she got out of the bathroom. But everyone at the rehearsal dinner was so happy, and Teddy was having fun, and there would be too many questions but no time to say what she needed to. And she couldn’t just demand a conversation with him either. Teddy was superstitious. He believed that a bridge and a groom seeing each other before the wedding was bad luck. He had booked a hotel room on the opposite side of the hotel from Amy’s, and he told his groomsmen not to let Amy near him at all, no matter what she said.

“Amy, you’ve had like ten million glasses of champagne, and you still have this dinner to worry about.”

“Then the letter will be slightly better than average. I can live with that.” Amy reassured herself.

“What are you going to do about this dinner?” Jake asked.

“I’ll get through it,” Amy said. She stood up, dusted herself off, and walked towards the door. As she unlocked the door, she looked back at Jake’s smiling face and wondered how any girl could have stood him up all those months ago.

* * *

 

By 7:00 the next morning, Amy Santiago had typed up a four-page, single-spaced letter explaining to Teddy exactly why she decided to break up with him. By 7:09, she'd sent all of her family members short texts telling them to talk to Teddy. By 7:17, she had paid a concierge to print the pages out for her. By 7:20, the letter had been handed to one of Teddy’s groomsmen, with explicit instruction to give it to Teddy when he woke up at eight thirty.

By 7:30, Amy had checked out of her room and was ready to leave the hotel and call an car to go back to her apartment when she saw Jake Peralta sitting in the lobby, pretending to read a newspaper.

“What are you doing?” Amy asked Jake as she walked over to him. “Are you stalking me?”

“What? No. Of course not. I’m here on cop business.”

“Then why are you here? I thought you compromised your cover.”

“Yeah, but after you left, I got a call from one of my CIs that there’s a meeting going down today at 7:45 with some major players.” Jake whispers. “Now sit down next to me, the guard’s looking at me!” Amy sat down next to Jake. Jake subtly pointed her to a man wearing a hotel uniform standing in front of a potted plant, looking around the room. The potted plant sat several feet away from a door with a sign that said “Do Not Enter” in front of it. Every so often, someone new would go through those doors. As she sat and waited, Amy identified some of the people walking through the doors to Jake. Most of the people were known criminals, but some were people that Jake didn’t know, that his CIs hadn’t warned him about.

It seemed as if everyone in the hotel was in on the criminal activity. At one point, Amy identified the hotel’s head of entertainment, who had helped her plan the wedding and pick the date. As stream of people slowed, Jake began returning the favor by identifying his own colleagues, who were stationed around the lobby.

“...and Charles is the one standing in front of the gift shop,” Jake said. He tapped his ear, and Amy was made aware of the earpiece she hadn’t noticed earlier. “He wants me to ask you if the food here was good.”

“Tell him that it’s great.”

“She says it’s great, Charles!” Jake said. He looked down at his watch. 7:44 a.m. “I’m gonna need to distract him so he doesn’t stop Charles and the rest of my squad from storming that meeting.”

“I can help you,” Amy said. She stood up, grabbed Jake’s hand, and dragged him along with her as she walked up to the man in front of the potted plant.

“Hello, sir. Johnny and I have been waiting forever for a meeting with Lisa, the head of entertainment and booking. She was supposed to meet us in the lobby at 7, and now it’s 7:44.” Amy said.

“Yeah, Dora and I really wanted to book this place for our wedding. Lisa said she was going to give us a magical time.” Jake said. Amy looked down at his watch. 7:45.

“It’s time,” Amy cough-said.

“Can you please point us to Lisa’s office?” Jake asked. “She’d promised us some _free samples_ of the hotel’s food and I do not want to miss that.” At the sound of the signal phrase “free samples”, Amy saw all of the people Jake had pointed out to her rush to the door, and break it down. Almost immediately, Jake let go of her hand, pulled out his gun, and told the man in front of him that he was under arrest.

It all happened so fast. Amy had experienced a lot as a detective, but all those times, she’d been the one making the arrests. But now, she was a witness. She had become engulfed by a whirlwind. Criminals were getting escorted out of the lobby, and she was led to Jake’s car. One moment she was riding down to his precinct with him, listening to him tell her that he needed witness statements and for her to tell him everything she knew about the hotel’s staff, and another moment, she was sitting in Jake’s precinct, reading lips and listening to his captain yell at him through the precinct’s thin walls.

“Detective Peralta, how DARE you reveal your case to a civilian. And not only that, how dare you ENDANGER said civilian by letting her interfere with your case. We’re lucky that we made that bus, or else you’d be in deep water!”

“She wasn’t just a civilian, sir. She’s my friend, and she’s a detective.”

“A detective on their day off is STILL a CIVILIAN. And what if she wasn’t a detective? What would you have done then?”

“I don’t know. I probably wouldn’t have even looked at her. But that doesn’t change the fact that she knows a lot about the hotel, a lot that our perps aren’t going to talk about, because she planned her wedding there. She helped me distract the guy, and she can help us now.”

“Are you sure, Detective Peralta.”

“I’m positive. I trust her.”

“How are you so sure about that?”

“Anyone who tells a stranger that they’re going to leave their fiancé is someone who doesn’t have a problem with trust.”

“Fine. She is allowed to stay and talk to you about the case. But if you mess this up, I’m not cleaning this up for you.”

“I know, sir.”

Amy had been sitting at a chair, next to Jake’s desk, intently listening when Jake finally exited the captain’s office. Not wanting to seem like she was listening, Amy turned on her phone. There were seventeen voicemails, six from Teddy, five from her mom, and the rest from others in her family. While the Amy that was happily engaged to Teddy would have called all of them back immediately, the Amy that left Teddy before their wedding didn’t bother opening the voicemails. Instead, she texted all of them, saying that she needed some space, but that she was okay.

Jake sat down at his desk.

“Who are you texting?” Jake asked, looking at her phone.

“It’s just my family, and Teddy. I’m just telling them that I’m okay.”

“How’s Teddy holding up?” Amy shrugged.

“Can you please just interview me about the hotel? I’m not in the mood to talk about the hotel today,” Amy told Jake. There was a sudden shift in his demeanor. His foot started tapping on the ground as he grabbed a case file from the large mountain of papers forming on his desk. His voice was steady and serious as he asked her question after question about the hotel and what she’d seen while planning her wedding there. It was a far cry from the fun and slightly frantic rhythm she’d unconsciously begun to associate with his voice.

Before Amy knew it, it was 11:00, and Jake stomach had begun growling. The sound made her feel hungry, too.

“Well, that’s enough for today.” Jake returned his case file to the mountain on his desk, and began drumming his fingers on his stomach. “I’m feeling snacky. You ready to get something to eat?”

“You and me? Together?” Amy asked. She hoped that Jake couldn’t hear how her voice shook when she said together.

“Yeah, let’s go get something to eat.” Jake. He stood up from his chair and put his jacket on. “Like… as friends. Not a date. I can drop you off at one of your apartment afterwards.”

That would have been the logical thing to do. But Teddy was probably there, mourning the breakup, and Amy hadn’t prepared anything to say to see him in person. She thought that there would be more time.

 _I can think about it during lunch_ , Amy thought.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Jake took Amy to get possibly the greasiest burgers in Brooklyn. As they waited in line, Amy told Jake her address. Inside the place, people were packed like sardines. Oil practically dripped from all the walls of the joint. Amy was sure that the patties were more fat than meat. They got their orders to-go and ate in Jake’s car,as he drove her to her apartment.

“Do you eat this stuff every day?” Amy asked.

“Not every day,” Jake said. “Only when Charles doesn’t bring me food.”

“And how much is that?” Amy asked. Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, Jake grabbed an overly salted fry from the bag and popped it in his mouth.

“Three days a week.” Jake answered, his mouth still full of fry.

“That’s disgusting,” Amy said. “I’m surprised you’re still alive.”

“I’ll die when it’s my time. In a fiery shootout with like, twenty bad guys.” Jake said. The notion made Amy laugh so hard that her stomach began to hurt, though the food might have been a contributing factor to that. “Hey, don’t laugh at me.”

“Sorry, it’s just hard to imagine Paul the waiter in a crazy shootout.”

“Hey, Paul is way more badass than you think!”

“Yeah, when I think badass, I definitely think struggling actor with a coke addiction.”

“You remembered.”

“I’m a detective. It’s my job.”

“If you were a better detective, you’d have known that I’m more John McClane than Paul the waiter, and if I’m not dying hard, I’m dying badass.” For the rest of the ride, Jake regaled her with heavily embellished tales of his badass adventures, and Amy pretended to believe them. Their journey stopped not too long after Jake began telling her about his time undercover in the mafia, as he stopped in front of her apartment building.

Amy started out the window, seeing her apartment building in a way she’d never seen it before. For the longest time, it was home. She’d moved in right after Teddy had proposed. She had developed a routine there.

But it wasn’t home anymore. It was just Teddy’s apartment now. Jake unlocked the car door, and Amy exited the car. She began walking away, but before she could enter the building, she turned back at Jake. He was still there, smiling at her.

“You can leave, you know!” She shouted at him.

“Nah, I kinda wanna see how this ends.” Jake fired back. Amy didn’t say anything as she walked into the building.

Amy and Teddy’s apartment was on the tenth floor. During the elevator ride up, Amy mentally prepared a speech to Teddy. Sure, it wouldn’t be half as good as her farewell letter, but it would be something. As the elevator doors opened, she saw Teddy, looking at her and holding a box.

“What are you doing?” Amy asked, walking out of the elevator.

“I could be asking you the same thing,” Teddy replied curtly.

“Why do you have that box?” Amy asked.

“I’m moving out. My stuff will be cleared by tonight. I’m staying at Tommy’s.” Tommy was Teddy’s best friend, and a detective at his precinct.

“But this is your apartment. You were here first.”

“I don’t want to live in a place where I’m constantly reminded of the fact that my fiancé cheated on me.”

“What? I did not cheat on you! Did you even read the letter?”

“Yeah, I did. That’s how I came to the conclusion.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I read your letter. You said you weren’t in love with me, and that I was boring. I didn’t understand why until Tommy told me that he saw you in the lobby this morning with another guy.”

“Teddy, I can explain!” Amy begged. She didn’t know why she was begging, or why there were tears falling down her face. She didn’t love Teddy, but she wanted the breakup to be as clean as possible. Not like this. She’d failed. She hated failure.

“I don’t need an explanation, but I think your family and friends probably do. I told about your cheating and about the letter. They’ve been worried sick.” Teddy said. “Goodbye, Amy.” He pressed the down button for the elevator, and the doors opened. He got in the elevator, and then the doors closed. Leaving Amy there alone.

Tears were streaming down her face. Her phone was ringing. Teddy was gone. Her apartment was down the hall, but all she wanted to was run far away. She was two floors down before she knew what she was doing. She had taken the stairs. Her heart was pounding and her feet were moving, and by the time she had reached the third floor, she felt like her heart was about to give out. But she kept running. Before long, she was running out of the lobby and into Jake’s car.

“Hey. Are you doing okay?” Jake asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Amy said as she wiped away a tear from her face.

“What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter. Can you please drive me somewhere? I don’t want to be here right now,” Amy said. Jake nodded and started the car. As he drove, Amy called her mother, and her brothers, and her father, and Kylie. All of the friends and family who Teddy had told. She told them that she didn’t cheat, that Jake was just a friend, and in fact, Jake was the one who told her to accept Teddy’s engagement in the first place.

Surprisingly, they were all just happy that Amy was okay. Gabriel, the third eldest brother, started talking about how stupid Teddy had acted at the bachelor party before Amy hung up. Meanwhile, Kylie seemed relieved that Teddy was gone. She called him “the least interesting man in the world”.

Amy had no idea where Jake was driving, and she was so engrossed in her calls, that she didn’t bother asking. After what seemed like ten million calls later, Jake pulled into a crowded indoor parking lot and turned off the car.

“Where are we?” Amy asked as she hung up on Kylie’s speech about how Amy could do so much better than Teddy.

“A parking lot. You’re lucky you’re sad, because normally I wouldn’t go to Manhattan for anything. The parking’s a bitch.”

“Why are we in Manhattan?”

“To go to the natural history museum, duh.” Jake said as she got out of the car. Amy followed him out. They began walking out of the parking lot together.

“Why are we doing to the museum?”

“Because you like the museum. And before you ask, no, I’m not a stalker, I just looked your name up on facebook to make sure you didn’t lead me to your apartment building just to kill me while you were inside. Even though I did help you run away from your wedding, we’re still totes strangers.”

“That was smart of you. But why the museum, of all the places?”

“That was the first thing I saw you post about. And I kinda wanted to see the dinosaurs.”

“Won’t your boss be mad that you’re taking the afternoon off to take me to the museum?” Amy asked. Jake shrugged.

“Nah, I busted a lot of bad guys this morning, and I’ve got no open cases right now.”

“He seemed pretty mad this morning.”

“Yeah, but like in a fatherly way. I’m kinda like a son to him.” Amy rolled her eyes. “I’m serious, Amy!”

“Sure,” Amy said sarcastically. After exiting the parking building, they walked several blocks until they reached the entrance of the museum. The museum wasn’t at peak hours, so Amy and Jake got in quickly. Once inside, Jake practically sprinted toward the dinosaur exhibits, while Amy followed him, giggling all along the way.

They spent the rest of the afternoon heading to every exhibit. Half the time, Jake was Amy’s tour guide, telling her about how the museum looked in real life in comparison to how in look in the _Night at the Museum_ movies. At one point, he frowned at the fact that Teddy Roosevelt wasn’t Robin Williams.

The other half, Amy was the tour guide, telling Amy everything she knew as he listened intently, cracking jokes about funny names every now and again. Late in the day, Amy dragged him to see the planetarium. She told him that she had basically grown up in planetariums, and he asked her what it was like to be a total nerd.

She lightly punched him in the shoulder then, but it was nice. Teddy had never asked her questions or joked with her or made fun of her.

Night had fallen when they had finally exhausted the museum. As they headed toward the exit, Amy felt a tap her on the shoulder. She turned around and saw a woman with wispy white hair and a crooked smile with a few teeth missing.

“I’m sorry to bother you miss, but I’ve been at some exhibits with you for the past few hours, and I just wanted to tell you and your boyfriend that you make such a cute couple.”

“Oh no, we’re not a couple.” Amy said. “We’re just friends. Strangers, even.”

“I apologize for my mistake,” the old woman said. “Even if you’re strangers, don’t let each other go. I met my wife at twenty-two, but we didn’t start becoming friends for until thirteen years later. When someone’s gone, you start to miss all the time that you didn’t get.”

“I’m so sorry about that,” Amy said.

“It’s all in the past, now. But what’s important is that you seize everything that’s important to you,” the woman said. Amy smiled. “No matter what you two are, I hope you have a nice day.” The woman walked away, and Jake and Amy waved her goodbye.

Jake and Amy walked back to Jake’s car in silence, the idea of a cute couple forming a gigantic canyon between them. They were back in Brooklyn before Jake spoke up.

“So. Where should I take you?”

“Back to my apartment. Where else would I go?”

“You were crying, so I just assumed that you got kicked out. But yeah, that’s great. Your apartment.”

“I didn’t get kicked out. Teddy left.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry for taking over your day afternoon. Teddy just said some really bad things, and I didn’t want to be alone.”

“No problem. I would have probably just done nothing today if it wasn’t for you, anyways.”

There was a moment of silence. “So… did you have fun today?” Amy asked.

“It was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time! I didn’t know learning could be fun.” Jake answered.

“It is fun. How could you not think learning is fun?” Amy asked. “What do you do for fun?”

“First off, every single teacher I’ve ever had has hated me, so there’s that,” Jake said. “And I do a lot of fun things. I hang out with friends. I watch movies. In fact, Saturday’s my movie marathon night. This week, like every week, is _Die Hard_ week.”

“Why can’t you watch something different? It’s _Harry Potter_ weekend on Freeform tonight!”

“I’ve never seen a single _Harry Potter_ movie, but I know that they’re all terrible!”

“The _Harry Potter_ movies were far from perfect, and they eliminated very much from the books, but they’re classics, Jake! You can’t hate the Harry Potter movies.”

“I can and I will,” Jake said defiantly.

“I’ll prove to you that the Harry Potter movies are amazing.”

“How?”

“You can come to my apartment and watch them with me. I’ll even feed you,” Amy said. She knew it was a bad idea to invite a near-stranger to her apartment after she’d just been accused to cheating, but she didn’t care. She had to win, for herself and for _Harry Potter_.

“Fine, but I refuse to eat anything healthy!” Jake exclaimed.

“I thought that was already a given!” Amy fired back. Jake sped all the way back to Amy’s building. Teddy had cleared every trace of him out of the apartment by them. All of his clothes and things were gone. The only thing left was the food he’d gotten when he went grocery shopping earlier that week. "Healthy" microwaveable meals to constitute a dinner, organic popcorn for snacking, and fair trade chocolate for a sweet treat. Amy didn’t feel guilty about eating Teddy’s food. If he left it there, it belonged to her.

Upon arriving at the apartment, Amy changed into her pajamas and Jake made himself comfortable on Amy’s couch. He turned on the TV to Freeform, and Amy made the popcorn and got the candy out of the shelves. Once the popcorn was ready, Amy sat next to Jake on the couch and handed him one of Teddy’s fair trade chocolate candy bars.

“Your boyfriend has excellent taste in food,” Jake said as she bit into the chocolate bar. “Maybe I should marry him.”

“Ex-boyfriend,” Amy told Jake. “And you wouldn’t last a minute.”

“You wanna bet?” Jake asked.

“Just watch the movie,” Amy said.

Somewhere between the ending of _Prisoner of Azkaban_ and the beginning of the _Goblet of Fire_ , Amy, more than a little bit exhausted from the day’s events, had fallen asleep on Jake’s shoulder. She woke up halfway into the Order of the Phoenix. Her head had fallen onto Jake’s shoulder. A tiny part of her marveled at how well she fit.

On screen, the members of Dumbledore’s army had left the Room of Requirement. Harry and Cho were the only ones left. Amy lifted her head off of Jake’s shoulders and opened her mouth to begin telling him about how despite how amazing the Order of the Phoenix was, it really shafted Cho as a character, and Jake should not judge Cho by her movie portrayal.

“You’re awake,” Jake said, turning his head away from the screen and towards Amy before she could speak. “I was beginning to think that these movies were super boring and that’s why you fell asleep.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Amy asked.

“You looked so peaceful,” Jake said. He shrugged, but he didn’t turn away. His eyes were still focused on her. His mouth was open, like he was going to say something else but the words had gotten caught in his throat. Amy looked at his lips, and then at his chest, which as moving up and down in tunes with his deep breaths.

She didn’t know who started the kiss. All she knew was that one moment Harry and Cho were kissing, and she the next she and Jake were kissing.

It was wrong. She knew it was wrong. But the way his lips felt like they were made for hers, the way he put his hand up to cup her face, it felt like there was electricity and magic in her veins. She kissed him for a few seconds longer than she should have.

They pulled away at the same time.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that.” Jake said as he stood up.

“It’s my fault, I invited you in, and I started it.” Amy said.

“No, I started it. They were my lips, Amy!” Jake shouted.

“In case you’ve forgotten, those were my lips, too!” Amy yelled. She stood up so that she was even with Jake.

“But I’m the one that overstepped my bounds! You were going to get married last night!”

“I chose not to get married, and I chose to invite you in. At the very least, this is both of our faults!”

“You were vulnerable and sad. It was wrong of me to not leave you alone.” Jake said. His voice had softened. He headed towards the door.

“Wait,” Amy said, her voice soft and vulnerable. Jake turned. “I asked you to stay. Thank you for staying. You’re a good friend. I liked today.” Jake sighed.

“You’re really great, Amy. I really like you. But I don’t wanna be the guy who takes advantage of a girl, and I definitely don’t wanna be the rebound guy you throw away after a week.”

“And I don’t want to be the girl who just jumps from relationship to relationship.”

“What do you wanna do?” Jake asked.

“Let’s wait. How about six months? We can be friends until then, but if we’re both single, clear-headed, and willing to try at that point, then let’s try.” Amy answered.

“I’d like that.”

“So, what do you want to do now?”

“I should probably go,” Jake said. “Watching these movies got me going once, and I don’t want them to get me going again,” he joked.

“I’ll see you around… friend.”

“Goodbye… pal.”

* * *

 

_**iMessage. 6:07 p.m.** _

**JAKE:** yo six months is up 2day. R u willing to give us a try?

 **AMY:** Sure. How about dinner and a movie, tomorrow?

 **AMY:** By a movie, I mean a movie in the theaters, not Die Hard again.

 **JAKE:** why are you ruining this relationship already???

 **AMY:** You are going to make me regret this.

 **JAKE:** "ur going to make me regret this" TITLE OF UR SEXTAPE

* * *

 

The next night, Jake showed up at Amy’s door with an outfit approved by his friend Gina, a reservation at a restaurant approved by his friend Charles, and a bouquet of yellow roses approved by the flower shop near his house.

His friend Terry had told him five minutes to show that he was interested (check) and to say something interesting when he picked Amy up (not check).

When Amy opened the door, wearing a pretty fuchsia dress, Jake lost the ability to speak. He was saved by Amy’s arms pulling him close, and her lips crashing into his.

They were almost late for their dinner reservation.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!! i'm still pretty new in the b99 fandom, so feel free to come and chat with me about anything and everything on @[jcnesloan](http://jcnesloan.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!!


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